New Google Brain to Keep “Golden Copy” of Your Deepest Hopes, Fears, Secrets

Today Google introduced a new product, Google Brain. Building on its popular Google Goggles, a headset that records users’ audiovisual sensory input and uploads it to Google’s servers, the Brain attachment will build and transmit to Google a constantly-updated computer model of the user’s mind. Users will be able to access their brains from any computer using their Google Account and a nifty AJAX interface.

“Storing your precious memories and deepest darkest secrets in your own gray matter is an unnecessary inconvenience and leaves users’ minds vulnerable to disease, blunt objects, and substance abuse,” said Google spokesman Joe Orwellian. “But with Google holding a copy of your brain, you know it’s safe! And just imagine the customized user experience Google will be able to offer when your every dream and nightmare is being scanned by our ad-bots.”

In response to privacy concerns voiced by EFF, Orwellian replied: “They just don’t understand: sometimes you have to give up a little privacy for convenience. Besides, the copies of users’ brains on Google servers will be encrypted to prevent snooping.” Asked if Google itself would have the key and be able to decrypt brains at the request of law enforcement or civil litigants, Orwellian responded, “Well, duh.”

Don’t forget to check to see what Google Brain users are thinking about right now!

via the EFF – those guys crack me up!

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